Leaving Hawaii

I'm happy to be going home. Hawaii is a gorgeous state, but it's not home, and I really like home. The only place I've ever visited and not been ready to leave is New York. I am depressed every single time I leave that place. I always turn around in my seat in the car and watch the NY skyline fade until there's nothing left to see. I will never forget leaving New York on 9/9/01. I never imagined the changes to that skyline and our nation that would come less than 48 hours later.

That was on my mind when we visited Pearl Harbor. My Papaw was in the Navy and spent time at Pearl Harbor not long after the Japanese attack. As we stood on the memorial, I looked down at the sunken U.S.S. Arizona for a while, but my attention was on the edge of the military base too. I tried to imagine what it was like to stand there and witness the destruction. I got to go back to NY a couple weeks after 9/11. Smoke still rose from the rubble and it smelled like burning plastic. There are no words to describe the scene of utter destruction. I don't think I've ever wanted to be somewhere and not be somewhere so strongly at the same time. I wonder if that's how they felt at Pearl Harbor after the attack and I wonder how it changed the people who witnessed it.

Papaw never talked about those days to me much. I at least know for certain he, like me, was one who was ready to go home from Hawaii. He loved home as much as I do. The woman I bought this ink pen from at the airport store was telling me about their return policy and asked when I would be coming back to Hawaii and I told her I didn't know, but now her question has me thinking. I'd like to visit all 50 states before I die. I feel like I'm now able to check off one of the more difficult/expensive of two, Alaska being the other. I'm definitely thankful I've seen Hawaii first-hand and fully appreciate the blessing of being able to come here in the first place. But, this place just isn't me. I can't see Chris and I making this a regular place to pass through. Chris loves beaches and these were some of the most fabulous beaches we've ever seen. But, there are beaches all over the world. We'll be in Florida a couple times between now and Nicole's wedding, so I'm sure we'll see some beach time there too. I'm just not sure we will ever feel the need to come back to Hawaii. I'll probably take one last look at this part of the world as the plane leaves the island, but it may not be the "see you later" look I give NY, but more of a pure, "goodbye."

I am nervous about the flight, but the Lord is giving me lots of reassurance. I sat down in an empty waiting area at the airport facing the beautiful green mountains. I opened up my Bible study. The first verse I read was Psalm 121:1-8. It begins, "I raise my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from?" Sitting there staring out toward the mountains, the passage started to take on a special meaning for me there in that moment.

"My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber. Indeed, the Protector of Israel does not slumber or sleep. The Lord protects you; the Lord is a shelter right by your side. The sun will not strike you by day, or the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all harm; He will protect your life. The Lord will protect your coming and going both now and forever."